Niiamah Ashong coaches a business development director in a Tribe 1:1 coaching session on the Outlier's Edge Podcast. The guest is launching a podcast built on long, deep conversations and wants to move past the fear of criticism that comes with being visible. What emerged is that the fear was less about listeners and more about whether the guest's family would see the work as a success, which opened the question of what success really means.
Episode at a glance
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released February 29, 2020
- Format: session, 54 minutes
- Topics: Staying open to opportunity, Criticism as a gift, Identity beyond the work, Fear of rejection versus rejection, Redefining success
What this session is about
The guest took a gap year after high school, with an admission and a scholarship to study abroad already secured, and found that working on a government project that helped local brands and products export better taught far more than a regular university would. The guest then joined the family business in technology and logistics during a hard period, took responsibility for bringing in cash flow every month, and saw the company make its first profitable year. Five years in, the guest has risen from a very small role to business development director, in charge of new partnerships and big deals, and has learned to step back so the team can do their work. Now the guest is creating a podcast from the kind of conversations the guest has with friends, one on one sessions that can run four to eight hours, and has already recorded the first episode in a professional studio. Three years out, the guest sees the podcast as a place people come to understand the culture and rising economy of the guest's home country, backed by a network of trusted people who can help anyone coming in to do business there.
What emerged
Through a sentence stem game, the guest named seven benefits of criticism, from improvement and filtering out the noise to building a tougher person and appreciating the people who offer support. Niiamah Ashong asked why the guest would hold back from all those opportunities for improvement, and the guest named that the fear of rejection is worse than the rejection itself. Going deeper, the fear turned out to be less about listeners and more about whether the guest's family would consider the work a success, and Niiamah Ashong left the guest with a question: what if the family's opinion was not tied to whether the work was a success?
Questions this episode answers
How can a leader turn the fear of criticism into something useful?
Niiamah Ashong gave the guest a sentence stem, 'the benefit of criticism is,' and the guest gave seven different answers, including improvement, filtering out the noise, understanding the values not to compromise, building a tougher person and appreciating the people who offer support. The theme the guest drew from it was being able to stand up and stand by core values.
Why does one critic feel louder than a thousand supporters?
The guest explains that if 1,000 people support someone and one person rejects them, the thousand should have more influence, but because people fear rejection so much, that one rejection feels stronger and heavier. Niiamah Ashong links this to loss aversion from behavioral economics, where losing two dollars feels more painful than gaining three.
How can a leader become more open to opportunity?
Niiamah Ashong invites listeners to look at where they might have closed themselves off to opportunity, even when the world is knocking on their door, and to be just 0.01 percent more open in the week ahead. He closes by inviting listeners to be just that bit more open to being true to themselves, through a micro adjustment toward more of what they are looking for rather than doing it all at once.
What would an identity beyond work give a leader?
The guest named that work had become what defined the guest, and wanted other parts of life to define the guest too so they could bring more value to the work. Asked what a more robust identity would give, the guest said a clearer vision of where the podcast and the work could serve other people.
Whose criticism is a leader really afraid of?
The guest started with the fear of criticism and backlash from people listening to the podcast. Going deeper, Niiamah Ashong pointed out that it really seemed to be about how the guest's family would see the work and whether they would consider it a success.
In their words
The benefit of criticisms is to understand and appreciate the people that support you.
A participant
In not moving forward there, what would you be rejecting about yourself?
Niiamah Ashong
Are you willing to put it out into the world so it can be visible in this way?
Niiamah Ashong
Key moments
00:32 – Open versus closed, a key distinction
08:20 – A gap year that changed direction
15:36 – Long conversations become a podcast
23:23 – The podcast three years out
29:36 – Identity beyond the work
32:11 – Naming the fear of criticism
35:21 – The benefit of criticism game
39:37 – Fear of rejection versus rejection
46:59 – Whose opinion really matters
51:07 – Redefining what success means
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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