This world is colored in diversity. Now more than ever, cultures are constantly coming together and new ones are birthed. Imagine how one dimensional the world would be if we all looked, thought and behaved the same. Today’s video talks of living unapologetically.
Video Synopsis and Additional Links
I am just going to dive in here and say: you don’t need to apologize for who you are. I find that this sentiment comes up a lot as I am working with different people. They will say something that is completely innocuous. This statement will often represent how they’re feeling in the moment, or how they see the world. This will then cause them to apologize and typically my response is: “you don’t need to apologize to me, I’m okay”. So today I wanted to get on here and just share this message because there is something that is beyond that. Trust me, Niiamah is not impervious to the apologies. The real reason why this is so important to me is that when it comes to it there’s an area of the apology that diminishes who you are or how you show up.
Showing up opens the floor for more
I need you to show up because when you show up it gives me the space to show up myself. So when you apologize you’re actually taking away space for the two of us. when you show up, we are both able to expand, grow and have a chance to bring out what we need to into the conversation. Now look if you do something really crappy towards me, please apologize because that is just good manners. However, the element of your existing, experimenting and finding out more and stretching yourself in different areas is no reason for you to apologize to me. In fact, you need to say sorry for not showing up authentically, not for being who you are. Here’s to your next frontier…journey on
In a world where bright stars and huge impact makers graze history books, one can get intimidated into feeling like they are not good enough. Today’s video talks of revealing your best parts regardless of the potential backlash and the limiting question “Who are you to…?”.
Video Synopsis and Additional Links
I have a question for you; is there something in your life that you thrive at but haven’t shared with the world? I recently had a conversation with someone who reminded me of an event that happened some time back. I was at work and we were working on a project for a client which was going to require our commitment through some late nights extending into the weekend.
Who Am I
The upcoming weekend was Martin Luther King Day. My manager said something that was pretty innocuous at the moment but it has stayed with me. She said: “we might have to work through the holiday weekend but let’s be real Martin Luther King Day is kind of a fru-fru holiday anyway!“
After that happened I just sat there dumbfounded. Look at it this way, I am a regular guy who is working towards building a business, I work with people and give my all on a daily basis. Here I am talking about joy, possibility, inclusion, and authenticity so if Martin Luther King JNR who had so much gravitas and changed the entire world can be considered fru-fru then who am I?
Hiding Behind Resentment
During the conversation mentioned earlier, I realized that was feeling some disdain and resentment towards myself and the people who were all over social media posting very vulnerable things. I’m actually very fortunate because I surround myself with people who are willing to share their truth to the world.
At that moment though, all that vulnerability seemed a bit much and that is really interesting coming from me. My friend came out and questioned my stance, asking whether I had a problem with the posts or was I really envious of them because they were doing what I desired to do but was afraid.
One of my strengths is the ability for me to help and support other people. While I’m doing that and building a business and my life, at times it all feels incredibly fru fru. I want to be taken seriously and I want to have a good time and that’s not always easy to do.
Not Holding Back
What are some of the things that you are great at, that you’re hiding and why? There might be clues as to why you might be hiding the best parts of you, for me, it was the word fru fru.
I dropped that little nugget there so that you can allow your strength to shine through the work you do. I’m excited to bring this through to 2019 because I know that when I come from a joyous place things line up for me. So I’m not holding back and I am not hiding it anymore.
Leave a message and tell me what you are exceptional. What have you have been hiding/ holding back or just afraid to put out there for a fear of backlash. Maybe you know something that might require additional vulnerability just to show how great you are.
In this fast-paced world, we set goals and work hard to achieve them, however, challenges come and the journey can get rough. Today’s video reminds you to give yourself some grace as you move forward.
Video Synopsis and Additional Links
As we start off the New Year, I have something in mind that is rather counterintuitive. I recently was part of an eye-opening conversation. It led me into a place where I now see the need to record some of my coaching sessions. This will give people a chance to explore for themselves and get the insights revealed therein. I will post this link soon. The conversation at hand, however, went to a very interesting place and what came up was the concept of giving ourselves grace. I thought that was very compelling especially now that we are starting out the year. This is the time when we’re thinking of resolutions, goals, and visions. We are coming out of the holidays and the physical season of winter, perhaps an internal season of winter as well where it feels like you have been hibernating.
Offering Grace
This is typically the season where there is a pull towards wanting to get a lot done because of the need to start the year off strong. I get it and trust me I will not mess with that energy at all. I don’t want to slow anyone down but at the same time, I want to offer the word grace back. Let us give ourselves a bit of grace as we:
Re-enter our daily routine
Look back to what we have done in 2018 or in the years prior.
Wherever you are right now, give yourself a bit of grace where you are able to say; this is where I am and this is what I need at this moment, and use that to continue going forward. This is easy, to be able to look back and come up with a list of:
All the things I didn’t get done
All the things I want to do (goals)
This is what I will do to achieve my set goals
My message for you Today
Slow down a little bit as you start off this year
Slow down as you move forward into what is coming up next for you
Take time to breathe into it all
Take time to enter it from a place of grace
Rest into your gifts and enter it from a place of grace
This is what came up during our conversation and I just thought it was it’s such a beautiful way of capturing: “resting into your gifts”. Give yourself the grace of not having to work hard in order to get the same results, if not better. Get in touch with me because I am very curious as to what this grace looks like for you as you start off your new year. If there’s one thing you can do to introduce more grace into the start of your year, what would it be? Here is to your next frontier…journey on.
The comfort zone is undoubtedly cozy, hence the name. “A Ship is always safe at shore but that is not what it was built for.” Albert Einstein. Today’s video looks at the fear associated with stepping out of the comfort zone and the beauty found of the other side of that fear.
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Video Synopsis and Additional Links
I was recently talking to a good friend of mine who is an entrepreneur and has been running his own online business for the last ten years.
You see, my friend has gained success in building his business selling products online, and building a platform based on text and courses. In one of our conversations a few months ago, it was clear that he was really kind of stuck.
Even though his business was growing and he was getting more people involved, the fulfillment wasn’t being experienced. What came up was that he wanted to connect with people in a completely different way than he had been doing before. So he wanted to be able to do live videos.
Pushing Past the Fear
This right there, wanting to show up in a completely different way, is about changing up and going on to the next level! For him, the next level was the place around where he was stuck. He was asking himself: “Am I ready to be seen again? Am I ready to be seen in this light?”
What was showing up was: “Do I trust myself to just get in front of a camera, and have that be okay? I know when I write I’m able to sit down and edit and use the opportunity to cultivate an image of myself. However, but can I really go out in front of the people from the video and just express myself, share what is on my mind and really be seen?”
It wasn’t really about creating the video, but about, “Can I be seen?” It was about being able to start integrating that video into his business.
The Other Side of the Coin
We had a session discussing it and as I served him on it, he realized for himself that, part of his success comes from just following what works for him. Just letting go of all the heaviness around it. It got to the point where he finally got it: “I’ve done this before in multiple ways and multiple versions!”
I am happy because he was sharing his gratitude, what he has accomplished in the last few months. How phenomenon it has been as a result of being able to let go of a need to look a certain way, and actually just being seen along the way!
He did go ahead to create his first video, put it on YouTube, and has been growing his subscriber list on a regular basis! The text he puts on there now drives more people to those YouTube videos – more views and subscribers in the past months!
The Fruits of Living Past the Comfort
That isn’t even what excites me because that has been going on for months. What excited me was how he was able to once again experience what it is like to be a subject matter expert.
It is five months since we talked about the first video and what it took to be seen in a different way. It has come far beyond where that initial conversation started: it is more than just being seen but now he is able to create.
The reason I decided to share this with you, is because he said; “Niiamah, I’m so excited, every night that it is hard for me to go to sleep! I’m just so excited by the things I am doing.”
It wasn’t about him making the video, no, it was about whether or not he trusted himself to really be seen. Whether or not he trusted himself to go out and create, on the fly….to pursue a totally new way of being seen in the world.
Choosing to allow yourself to be seen
There is something there, about the trust area. I get it because there is that idea of how I am supposed to look. How am I supposed to make sure that when I show up in a new way I bring more of myself into the equation?
In his case, it was just the physical face, but for a lot of us, it is different things. For me, it is playing with speaking and sharing stories in a way that I haven’t done in the past. I’m playing with if I’m going to allow myself to be vulnerable enough here. He is playing with, the idea of living with the problem of living in the problem. (June didn’t understand the underlined part…)
Through that phone conversation, I got a chance to see what is on the other side of getting out of your comfort zone. Not even getting out of your comfort zone, but living outside of your comfort zone.
Consider this
You will allow more of yourself to be seen if you can allow yourself to let go.
Ask yourself: what would be different in your life,business, career if you were to get rewards:
Not in spite of who you are but because of whom you are
Because you gave people a chance to see you as you are stepping out of your comfort zone
I would love to start a conversation around it. It is important for a pioneer to be seen stepping out of our comfort zone.
We might be rejected
We might not be accepted
It feels very real when it is about your money, livelihood, and sense of being connected to other people
But then again: what if stepping out of the comfort zone and really being seen, brought you more abundance, connection, and joy?
Leave a comment down in the box below wherever you are. On to your next frontier… Journey on!
Today’s video talks about Inclusion and authenticity and their importance in today’s society. Unfortunately, labels are used to define people despite who they are in their authentic self. The word appreciate is key here, it changes how we see both inclusion and authenticity.
Video Synopsis and Additional Links
The Word-Play in “Appreciate”
The word “appreciate” has a bit of word-play involved in its definition that is both useful and fun because it gets us to think a bit.
Appreciate as in recognize, celebrate or value something – What does it look like to appreciate, recognize, celebrate and value inclusion or authenticity?
Appreciate as in to grow in value (from the monetary perspective, tends to deal with investments) – What does it look like to appreciate inclusion and authenticity, to increase the value of inclusion and authenticity, to grow the worth of inclusion and authenticity?
How do these play together? What is interchange? What is the exchange?
Creating more Inclusive Environments
I am currently working with people and organizations to really capture the value that comes from diversity and inclusion; a lot of work is going to creating more inclusive environments.
I help people show up more unapologetically and this has led in the discovery that some of the organizations I work with have created an inclusive environment for their ‘diverse’ population but at the same time, they are not really getting any additional value from it.
This is because the people in these inclusive environments are not leveraging their uniqueness, their authenticity. Authenticity brings to life uniqueness or new ideas, thoughts or approaches in a way that adds value.
Making the Most of authenticity in Inclusive Environments
So, how can people make the most value from inclusive environments? How can organizations extract value from the conditions already created within inclusive environments?
It is true that there are spaces and organizations where it doesn’t feel inclusive, yet there is that person that comes into the space and decides to be authentic. I will call this person a lone pioneer, who is going out against the wilderness, against wild and rough terrain!
The Lone Pioneer and the Perceived Cost
It is up to the lone pioneer to remain steadfast in their authenticity because often times, there is a perceived cost to show up authentically.
So, I want to give us an opportunity to explore what it would look like to appreciate inclusion while appreciating authenticity. How do we grow the value of inclusion by helping our individual members to feel comfortable bringing out their authenticity?
This is as they show up in an authentic way within their teams or groups, within the environments of families and relationships.
My questions to you
In what areas have you created an inclusive environment where you’re not celebrating and recognizing and valuing authenticity?
Do those within your inclusive environment feel that they are their authentic self and not just their authentic self because their skin tone or sexual orientation or gender is at play, but because they are their actual authentic self?
As an example, one of the reasons I feel I was able to be successful for so long in the US is because I didn’t consider myself a black male. I wouldn’t allow labels to drive what I do.
When it comes to inclusion, it bothers me when people have to show up based on the labels used to define them. If you really want to extract my value, call me Niiamah; I am the most quirky person that you might meet, I am intense, I am intimidating, I am full of joy and I bring people together.
That has absolutely nothing to do with the color of my skin, my gender, or my sexual orientation. Now there are elements from all three labels that have characterized how I show up, however, to really extract the value from Niiamah, you really need to get into the authenticity piece.
What Emerges For You?
I will leave the following with you to think about;
See what emerges for you, and see in what areas we are looking at appreciating authenticity, so that we can appreciate to grow and value the inclusion
Play around with this – perhaps you will find it more interesting to look at it from the standpoint of how to appreciate/recognize/ value and celebrate inclusion in a way that appreciates and grows authenticity
I want my clients to understand, recognize and create the conditions for an inclusive environment and to get the return of that investment in their organizations.
For the individuals that I work with, to understand, recognize and create the conditions for them to be authentic, and for them to get the value, the return on that investment in themselves.
It is not easy to do and at the same time, it is a game that is worth playing. I would love to hear your thoughts and I would love to see how all these will fall for you.
You have a dream, a goal which aligns with every reason for your existence. You write it down and are motivated to see it into completion but you get stuck on the process. How do you get from the starting point to the end product? Today’s video talks about how to let go of the “how” the process and focus on the “what” the end product.
Video Synopsis and Additional Links
Being a pioneer leader, I get to work with people who have huge visions and have achieved a traditional level of success. The one question that comes up so often during interactions with different pioneers, regardless of its shape or form, is how.
You have an idea of the end result but you are stuck at the how to achieve it. Well, today I want to offer you something different, I’d love to offer you the question of what.
What vs. How
It is still early in the year and often, the huge vision for the year – the what – is in place. Many successful pioneers want to move on to the next step. The question then becomes how?
Having been a coach for a period of time now, I have found that the how is not straight forward. In fact, the question of how ends up being far more disempowering, than empowering.
I have recently been faced with the realization that it is the what and not the how that gets you to the next step of achieving your goals.
Launching a Community of Pioneers
Recently, I have been trying to launch a community for my pioneers and honestly speaking, this community has yet to exist in the form in which I would like. You see, I have been working with people on a one on one basis for over one and a half years now, a period within which they have had major breakthroughs and I have seen them achieve wonderful results.
Some of them have gone to take on new leadership roles within the organization. For the entrepreneurs, they have been able to bring in new clients based on who they are and not on an external projection of what they believe others would want from them.
Each of my pioneers has their own individual world, and I have had the opportunity to bring them together once in a while. In this regard, I have desired to bring them together in a community, and the question has been “how do I do it?”
In fact, so many how questions came to mind, how do I:
Get people to come to an event
Make sure I have people consistently coming in
Stay current and up-to-date
Make sure that I don’t lose my own integrity
With all these questions in mind, I delved into research for the answers by asking people for their thoughts. In the end, I didn’t know what help I needed or that I even needed the help.
The Realization of the What
After getting stuck at the how and opting to research for the answers, I was not getting anywhere until recently when I had a mind shift. I came to the realization that I was seeking approval from others:
That this community was necessary
Approval and permission from myself to create the community
The “what” was already in place, I knew what I wanted to build, and I just needed to do it!
I realized that all along, I was dwelling on the “how”, while it was really about the “what” that I should have focused on. What:
Do I want to build, not how do I want to build it
Impact do I want to have, and not how do I want to make the impact
Is the impact that I want people to have in my community of pioneers
My Offer to You
I finally did launch a community of a tight-knit group of pioneers who are being challenged even as they challenge each other. It is not as large as what I had in mind, it does not have the questions answered on how I’m going to get people in on a regular basis but at the same time, I have been able to scale it to something that works for me.
When I focus on what I see the community becoming, the how becomes irrelevant. This community is willing to see things differently now and grow through that instead of being alone and isolated.
That community is going to exist in different ways:
One-on-one coaching
Group coaching
Live events
Webinars
Consider This
Do you have a question you have been asking yourself that starts with how? Now consider the result if you just focused on what:
Do you want to build, create
Needs to be different for you
Is at its core
Are the elements that you wanted to include
Do you want yourself and others to feel as they are going through this year
Once you have those answers, that pesky how will take care of itself. I promise you that the community I am starting right now will not look the same a year from now. It is an accelerator and I am going to be accelerated as this community continues to be morphed into shape and co-created by every person who joins it.
Now I don’t know how, but I realize that I don’t need to know how this will happen, I just know what I am looking to create and from there I know I can create it.
Today take a few minutes to write down five things where you have been asking yourself the how question then change it into a what question.
If you would like to join our community of pioneers or would like to get the what question answered, or if you simply wish to share your thoughts, get in touch with me and we will take it from there.
