June

What are we looking for? Are we feeling connected, supported and embraced by those around us? What came up was really a conversation around the depth of friendships that we have made here and also in New York.

The Desire to Connect

Whenever I talk to my pioneers out there, I find that this comes up a lot where we operate from a place
of choosing to connect with someone; how do I connect with them? I just want to make a connection.
I’m looking for more connections out there and in figuring out who we need to be in order to connect
better with others.

We end up often missing what we are really looking for. We are really looking to be
seen, to be understood, to be recognized, to be appreciated for who we are and to be able to have
conversations with people who get us.

Connecting Externally

From that perspective, we can get to wherever it is that we are looking to go next and when we choose to
pursue and optimize connectedness, what we end up doing is actually saying; how can we find some common ground between us?

That common ground oftentimes is based on an externality. What job do you have? What are you interested in? Where did you grow up? What places have you traveled and so on and so forth. That comes up a lot in our lives nowadays and it ends up being this thing where people can feel connected.

Then I’ll talk to pioneers who are out there and trying to do something very different in the world and a common theme comes up where others feel like; “I’m not really finding anyone that really stimulates
me, that I really can feel I could be great friends with. I can connect with a lot of people; I’m going out,
I’m having dinners, I’m talking to people, I’m meeting people on a regular basis etc. but we’re not
building a relationship.

Relationships over Connections

I just want to speak a bit about the loneliness of optimizing for a connection because while it’s
something that we are proposing, is it what we’re looking for? What we’ve seen is that we are looking for
something much deeper which is relationship and relatedness.

The difference that I found when it comes to being connected and being related is that when you’re looking to optimize for a connection there’s an external focus but when you’re looking to relate, it’s an internal focus.

What I mean by the internal focus is that there’s a focus on your emotions or focus on how you
feel around things and you’re sharing that openly, you’re allowing your emotions into the conversation because they belong in a real relationship. Only people who really know you may be able to get a chance
to see those emotions.

This is something that I have found to be a complete game-changer as I’ve been meeting people out
here and really being able to be known for who I am and be able to create business relationships and
clients from that perspective.

I have had people reach out to me and invite me into their communities to come and speak and so on because from the very beginning I choose a relationship and not connection.

So I just want to point out this here; if you’re finding that you’re working really hard to fit in or to be
connected, I’m inviting you to stop and instead rather than focusing on the things that will make you
connect externally, go to the things that you internally relate on and allow it to happen.

I’ll be honest with you; it is not easy but the rewards are quite worth it.

Go ahead and let me know about that one place where you found choosing relation over connection has benefited you and we will go on from there.

Here’s to your next frontier –  Journey On!

When Fear Presents Itself

In our recent visit to Sri Lanka, my wife and I had the opportunity meet several locals across the country and we got to talk to them about their world.

What struck me was how differently the considered and handled things from politics to religious environments and how their unique culture influenced what brings them together and drives them apart.

My former boss used to say: “Make sure you are not trying to boil the ocean”. That felt very applicable as my fear in the moment was: “how do I live into a mission this large?”

Choose to Embrace the Fear

Doubts expanded in my mind as I wondered:

As the doubts expanded, I wondered: Am I being naïve given that each culture operates from different cultural values? How can I possibily believe that one young leader from the United States can both define inclusion and carry it out in a way that people and cultures across the worlds would embrace.

I know deep down that Niiamah Ashong is not the person who will go forth and change every single one of the seven-plus billion people on this earth’s view on inclusion. I will not change everyone’s mentality when it comes to empowerment and how to really belong in any place that they are so that we can focus on collaboration

Extract the Gifts that Fear Brings

This fear has taught me to reconnect with each of you from a different perspective.

And here’s where the gift lies in all this.

By exploring this fear,  I’ve gotten the clarity that the path for me to make the greatest impact is not in trying to change the hearts and minds of every individual on the planet – it’s in supporting leaders across the world who have missions and visions in alignment with my own to bring their visions to life.

It will be enough to support Pianeers with their leadership, so you can bring it back to a) your communities, b) your teams, c) your businesses, and d) your tribes that you lead.

From there, I’m sure you will be able to inspire other people and continue on – eventually cascading out until, through our collective efforts, every single person is impacted. This realization has come out of fear which gave me a little perspective to get back to what really matters.

The fear actually gave me a chance to anchor myself with what really matters and also give me new strategies in order to approach things going forward.

What this Means for you

This is only one way you explore some of the .  Where else do you feel fear around a mission, an approach of life/business, or a goal of .

Are fear and doubt holding you back from your freedom currently? Use these questions to embrace those fears and discover the gifts within them :

• What is that fear really saying?
• How might I approach it differently?
• Where else is this fear showing up in my life?
• What insights have I gained for past experiences where I felt like this?
• What might I already know but have forgotten to allow myself to be successful in the midst of
  this fear?

I am grateful for this fear and now fear less. In supporting you, I’m moving one step closer toward my ultimate mission.

Now, I invite you to lean into fear, explore it, and choose to fear less.

Applying this to you, what is ONE gift one of your fears might be offering you? Leave a comment wherever you are. I’d love to engage in a dialogue with you.

Here’s to your next frontier – Journey on!