In this Tribe group coaching session, Niiamah Ashong guides three leaders through the question of what they truly stand for, and the space between what they say they stand for and how they show up. Through a series of reflection prompts, each leader names something they want to bring out more fully. What emerged is a live practice in being seen, including a shift from aiming for resilience to standing grounded and steadfast.
Episode at a glance
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released October 27, 2020
- Format: session, 56 minutes
- Topics: What you truly stand for, Aligning actions with ideals, Being a bystander to your own mission, Hiding what makes you stand out, The courage to be seen, Steadfast over resilient
What this session is about
Niiamah Ashong frames the session around his monthly theme of Stand September and invites the three leaders to practice, not just discuss, what it means to stand. Each leader named one word for what they stand for, and then worked through prompts on the crossroads they stand at, the ways they may be a bystander to their own mission, the outstanding thing they keep hidden, and the standards they need to leave behind, update or create. One leader named fearlessness and a maverick streak to bring out more. Another chose to share intellect, opinions and unique perspectives more freely, and a third named that playing at her next level means letting herself be seen.
What emerged
Niiamah Ashong points to the space between what someone says they stand for and how they show up as the place where their power lives: every time they bring something into alignment, they gain more power. When one leader asked for help being seen without fear of not being liked, he challenged resilience as the goal, since it assumes being knocked down, and offered steadfast as a more grounded alternative. He invited her to write down what she believes being fully seen would require and ask of each one, what if that wasn't true. The session closed with each leader sharing a gift they received from another, from courage to a new insight about staying connected to oneself.
Questions this episode answers
How can a leader find out what they truly stand for?
Niiamah Ashong asks leaders to look past what they say they stand for and ask what they truly stand for based on their behaviors and actions. He says the space between the two is where more of their power resides.
What does it mean to be a bystander to your own mission?
One leader in the session described it as standing on the sidelines, watching the game being played instead of playing it. Niiamah Ashong used the question to help each leader see where they might be watching their own mission rather than living it.
Is resilience the right goal for a leader?
Niiamah Ashong says resilience doesn't go far enough because it suggests getting knocked down and only getting back to where you were. He prefers steadfast, being so grounded in yourself and what you believe in that what comes your way doesn't knock you down in the first place.
How can a leader move past the fear of not being liked?
Niiamah Ashong suggests writing down everything you believe being fully seen would require, then asking of each one what if that wasn't true, and using radical imagination to explore the answer. He also invited one leader to give the group the gift of not liking her by sharing what is really true for her.
In their words
Based on your behaviors and your actions, what do you truly stand for?
Niiamah Ashong
Every time you bring something more into alignment with it you gain that much more power.
Niiamah Ashong
To play at the next level I really need to let myself be seen.
A participant
Key moments
01:35 – The theme of Stand September
05:11 – What do you truly stand for
06:42 – The space between ideals and actions
12:53 – A bystander to your own mission
15:17 – The outstanding thing kept hidden
18:43 – Standards to leave, update or create
34:19 – Coaching on being seen
40:08 – Steadfast over resilient
43:47 – What if that wasn't true
49:54 – Gifts from the room
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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