Niiamah Ashong coaches a coach and former software developer in a Tribe 1:1 coaching session on the Outlier's Edge Podcast. Having taken on every edge the guest knew, from leaving a safe career to launching two businesses at once and going live online, the guest came looking for the next one. What emerged is that fear, the old measure of an edge, no longer points true north, and that honesty may be the new compass.
Episode at a glance
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released March 21, 2020
- Format: session, 47 minutes
- Topics: Celebrating before the next edge, Fear as an old compass, Honesty as a new compass, The light in the dark side, Turning too much into a game
What this session is about
After 18 years as a software developer, in a role that was considered successful by outer metrics, the guest left technology for work that was in alignment. The guest launched two businesses at the same time: a coaching business, now with clients and a group coaching program, and a healthy habit change consultancy, created with a team, that helps people eat more plants without all the judgment. The consultancy's podcast has released 52 episodes, saw its highest downloads in November and regularly draws requests to partner, and the guest's online audience has grown to the point that people the guest doesn't know come up to say they follow the guest's work. The guest describes turning fully up to who the guest is as a tremendous thrill ride. Going live on video once felt terrifying, and now people tell the guest they love the videos.
What emerged
Having slayed every edge that was known to the guest, the guest came looking for the next one, and Niiamah Ashong first slowed down to acknowledge what the guest had created and ask how the guest had celebrated it. Then a light bulb went off for the guest: the old definition of edge was fear, and fear no longer works as the yardstick, because the guest has learned a process for being with fear and moving forward. The guest named honesty as a possible new compass, and Niiamah Ashong suggested that, for now, the next edge may be in the guest's personal life rather than in business, and pointed the guest toward the light within the dark side of the guest's gifts.
Questions this episode answers
Why should a leader celebrate before taking on the next challenge?
Niiamah Ashong explains that playing a next level game requires energy, and he wants to make sure the guest is filled with the energy needed to take on something much larger. He also wants to avoid reaching each new edge only to ask what's next, so he asked what one thing the guest could give themselves that would feel completely frivolous and selfish.
What happens when fear stops being a useful measure of growth?
The guest realized that the old definition of an edge was whatever the guest feared, and that this no longer applies as a yardstick, since the guest now has a process for being with fear and moving forward. Niiamah Ashong describes fear as the compass that got the guest to the top of one summit, which no longer gives any new information for where the guest is going now.
Can taking on more scary things keep a leader at the same level?
Niiamah Ashong suggests that if the next move is simply anything else that feels scary, with fear as the impetus to get it done, it might keep someone at the same level. It will look like next steps, but it may bring more of what they already have.
What is the light within the dark side?
Niiamah Ashong describes a gift, the dark side of that gift, and then a light within that dark side. He points the guest toward that light, which the guest called a fun place to play, and he closes by asking listeners which part of themselves may not have its space yet and how finding the light in its dark side could reveal new paths.
How can a leader turn being seen as too much into a strength?
Niiamah Ashong turned it into a game: one point when someone outwardly showed they thought he was too much, three points for responding from a place of acceptance, and seven points for saying 'you're welcome,' treating it as his gift to them. Playing it showed him that people feel energized by him being too much and feel more spacious when he goes for it all.
In their words
Maybe honesty is now my compass.
A participant
We talk about the dark side of the light. What is your gift and what's the dark side of that, but then there's a light within that dark side.
Niiamah Ashong
People feel energized by me being too much. People feel more spacious when I'm going for it all.
Niiamah Ashong
Key moments
00:01 – Showing up fully in the fast lane
01:36 – From software developer to coach
06:49 – Looking for the next edge
09:30 – Feeling truly free
10:34 – Celebrate before the next edge
15:46 – A frivolous, selfish gift
23:44 – Fear is no longer the metric
27:47 – Honesty as a new compass
41:27 – The light in the dark side
43:02 – Turning too much into a game
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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