April Frazier, a confidence and leadership coach who calls herself a guide, joins Niiamah Ashong on the Outlier's Edge Podcast to talk about the power behind truth telling. She describes herself as a beacon for people, often women, who are ready to tell the full truth about themselves, including their strengths. What emerged is her own realization that her power is in flow, and that her gift works best when she simply gets to be herself.
Episode at a glance
- Guest: April Frazier, Confidence and leadership coach who calls herself a guide
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released November 17, 2022
- Format: conversation, 33 minutes
- Topics: Telling the whole truth, Seeing people's greatness, Being known well, Changing the lens on weakness, Power in flow, Her own path over the playbook
What April brought to the conversation
April Frazier works with people, often women, who want to tell the truth but are scared, so they tell only the polite, palatable version that doesn't unearth any bodies. She sees that people tend to view themselves only through their mistakes and weaknesses, and that many of the gifts they paint in a negative lens are really positive once they change the lens. Seeing and saying the truth comes effortlessly to her: she recently told a woman she works alongside that the job was too small for her and that she's a leader, and people have come back years later to repeat almost verbatim what she said. Niiamah Ashong describes her as a truth teller of greatness, someone who sees people in their greatness and tells them so.
What emerged
Partway through the conversation, April Frazier has a realization: when she became a professional coach, she started trying to monetize her gift through webinars, sequences and everything the gurus say to do, and it took her out of flow. She recalls being told in college that when she tries to do something it loses its naturalness, the same way another language flows for her when she simply enjoys a conversation. Niiamah Ashong reflects it back to her: emotionally she already knows where she needs to be, and it's the intellect that reaches for the logical path others prescribe. He leaves room for the kind of greatness that comes when she doesn't even have to try.
Questions this episode answers
Why do people only tell the polite version of their truth?
April Frazier sees people who want to write the book, become a coach or launch the business, but who only want to tell the truth that's polite and doesn't unearth any bodies. She helps those who are ready tell the full truth, not just about what they've been through but about their strength.
How can a leader see their weaknesses differently?
April Frazier says many people only see themselves through the mistakes they made, the weaknesses they have and the ways they're not enough. Many of the gifts they paint in a negative lens are actually really positive if they change the lens and get into the energy that can empower them.
How do you tell someone a hard truth about their potential?
For April Frazier it comes naturally: something that seems obvious to her can open a door that was locked for the other person. Niiamah Ashong describes this as a third way between staying silent and bluntly keeping it real, where she delivers the truth honestly and genuinely without holding back.
Why might a borrowed marketing playbook not feel right?
April Frazier realized that trying to monetize her gift with webinars, sequences and the steps the gurus prescribe takes her out of flow, and her power is in flow. Niiamah Ashong suggests that emotionally she knows where she needs to be, while intellectually she keeps reaching for the logical path others follow.
What's the difference between being well known and being known well?
Niiamah Ashong says he has always known how to be well known but not how to be known well. He is working on it by first asking whether he knows himself well, because he can't expect anyone else to if he isn't attuned to himself.
In their words
You're a leader. It's always going to feel uncomfortable when you're playing small.
April Frazier
My power is in flow.
April Frazier
I would say emotionally you know where you need to be.
Niiamah Ashong
Key moments
03:36 – An island, a volcano and flow
08:48 – Well known versus known well
10:51 – A beacon for truth telling
11:54 – Seeing strength, not just weakness
13:30 – Telling a coworker she's a leader
17:35 – A third way to tell truth
21:11 – A truth teller of greatness
24:15 – Her realization about flow
30:08 – Emotion already knows the way
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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