Michelle Margaret Marques, a bold and direct coach with her own TV channel and summit, joins Niiamah Ashong on the Outlier's Edge Podcast to talk about being called intimidating and why she won't turn that dial down. She explains why the presence that makes some people nervous is exactly what draws the clients who need it, and why who she is at her core is not up for compromise. What emerged is her practice of using fear as fuel: when the feeling of what she wants persists, she treats that fear as desire and goes after it even harder.
Episode at a glance
- Guest: Michelle Margaret Marques, Coach with her own TV channel and summit, who goes after life on her own terms
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released January 10, 2023
- Format: conversation, 55 minutes
- Topics: Reframing intimidation, Being clear about who she's for, No compromise at her core, The gift of being too much, From one-to-one to one-to-many, Fear as fuel
What Michelle brought to the conversation
Michelle Margaret Marques describes herself as bold, very real and in your face, someone who goes after life on her terms, which is what she does with her clients. She has a TV channel, runs a summit and has written books, and Niiamah Ashong calls her a powerhouse of a person with a level of accessibility that is unparalleled. Her website says clearly who she is for and who she is definitely not for. She is now focusing more on the one-to-many side of her business and on collaborations with people already in her world, because that is what will bring more impact.
What emerged
The central shift is a new reading of intimidation. A client told Michelle Margaret Marques she was nervous before their first call, yet went ahead with the call because something inside told her Michelle was the person she needed to speak to, and that boldness turned out to be exactly what she needed. Niiamah Ashong shares that, as a Black man, he once heard the word intimidating as a signal of danger, until someone told him even his joy is intimidating. His invitation to leaders is to stop dampening their intensity, and hers is to treat fear as fuel, because that fear is the part that desires more.
Questions this episode answers
What should a leader do when people say they're intimidating?
Niiamah Ashong invites leaders to ask where they are turning down their intimidation game and to turn that dial up, not by trying to be intimidating, but by not dampening their intensity. Michelle Margaret Marques says that someone who feels intimidated but knows deep inside they need that boldness is exactly her person.
Is it a problem if a coach's message repels some people?
Michelle Margaret Marques's website says in big bold letters who she is for and who she is definitely not for, even when branding and marketing people ask whether she is repelling some people. She says that if her message repels someone who doesn't know they need that boldness or fierceness, that is the right person to have repelled.
How can fear become fuel?
When Michelle Margaret Marques feels fear, she listens to herself for a while to see whether it is real. If the feeling of what she wants still persists, she knows that fear is actually desire, and she goes after it even harder because of it.
Why would a coach shift from one-to-one work to one-to-many?
Michelle Margaret Marques has amazing one-to-one clients, but she is turning her focus to the one-to-many side of her business and to collaborations with people already in her world. She says it feels so much more connected to her purpose, and that her gift can change people's lives a lot faster by reaching a lot of people at once.
What can happen when a leader asks for something bigger?
Michelle Margaret Marques sent a voice note to one of her summit speakers asking whether he would host an event for her at his event space, which holds 390 people in person plus 25,000 streaming online. He almost immediately replied that he would love to and is partnering with her on it, and she left that meeting knowing she is 100 percent ready for that realm.
In their words
Where are you turning down your intimidation game?
Niiamah Ashong
When it comes to who I am in my core, there's no compromise.
Michelle Margaret Marques
That fear really is just that part of us that desires more.
Michelle Margaret Marques
Key moments
04:41 – Bold, real and in your face
05:44 – The client who felt intimidated
07:17 – What intimidating meant to Niiamah
13:59 – Clear about who she's not for
17:07 – Turn up your intimidation dial
21:49 – No compromise at her core
27:34 – The paradox of being too much
37:00 – Shifting focus to one-to-many
44:23 – Asking for a bigger stage
50:13 – Using fear as fuel
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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