Tamara Von Dohren of NOIR LUMI joins Niiamah Ashong on the Outlier's Edge Podcast to talk about integrating luxury into everyday life. She shares why small, personal details matter more than anything with a high price tag, and how she brings that attention into her coaching. What emerged is a conversation about asking for, and receiving, the support and luxury a person wants without hiding it.
Episode at a glance
- Guest: Tamara Von Dohren, Coach crafting personalized, luxurious experiences in coaching and retreats, through her business NOIR LUMI
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released January 17, 2023
- Format: conversation, 45 minutes
- Topics: Reinvention across cultures, Crafting personalized experiences, Luxury beyond price tags, Small details that shape an experience, Asking for what people want, Receiving support without hiding it
What Tamara brought to the conversation
Tamara Von Dohren has reinvented herself multiple times in different cultures, including three and a half years in Japan, through careers in radio, event management, marketing and luxury brand sales. That path gave her a unique ability to see things differently and connect dots other people can't see. She expresses it by crafting experiences, from three-course dinner parties for her friends with gold-plated cutlery to client work handcrafted right down to scents and favorite colors, and she is on track to move to Paris permanently, a goal 12 years in the making. Niiamah Ashong describes her as a phoenix who lives many lives, and an action taker who lights a flame under the people around her.
What emerged
The central insight is that luxury is about attention, not cost. Tamara Von Dohren points out that a hotel's signature scent or a favorite drink waiting on a train platform has nothing to do with cost yet shapes the whole experience, and that sometimes luxury is the most simple, most personalized thing. The conversation then turns to receiving: she questions the either or thinking that says successful people don't need anything else while everyone else needs everything. Niiamah Ashong, expecting his second child, shares how he once realized his own upbringing had put an upper limit on where he could be, and works out in real time what support his family really needs. She is fascinated by how much perception can stop people from moving forward.
Questions this episode answers
What makes an experience feel luxurious?
Tamara Von Dohren says people often see luxury as glitz and glamor, but one of the most classic luxuries is a hot bubble bath, because it is multi-sensory, with touch, scent and lighting. She believes sometimes luxury can be the most simple but the most personalized things.
How can you create a high-end experience without spending more?
Tamara Von Dohren points to small details: luxury hotels pump a signature scent into the air conditioning, and when she traveled with executives, she had each person's favorite tea or coffee ready on the train platform. She thinks about what someone was doing before they arrive and how to make the next part of their experience a little more energizing or special.
How does attention to detail show up in coaching?
Tamara Von Dohren gives her clients space to feel what they feel. When a client said she was good but seemed tired, Tamara Von Dohren named it, asked again and started with deep breathing so they could settle into the space.
Why is it hard to ask for what you want?
Tamara Von Dohren says asking for what people want can be viewed as being too picky or as having luxurious tastes, as if only rich people are allowed to do it. She questions the belief that successful people don't need anything else while everyone else needs everything, and asks why it has to be either or.
Is getting support at home a luxury or a need?
Niiamah Ashong says the people bringing big things to life get support, even if it isn't always talked about, and that it would be wonderful not to spend extra energy hiding it. Tamara Von Dohren asks how a nanny could be negative when it supports the children and the family to be stronger, other than the perception.
In their words
I create an experience for my friends, that is my way of expressing how much I value them.
Tamara Von Dohren
Sometimes luxury can be the most simple but the most personalized things.
Tamara Von Dohren
These small things, they don't really have anything to do with the cost.
Tamara Von Dohren
Key moments
04:40 – A phoenix who lives many lives
09:51 – A 12-year path to Paris
12:26 – Reinventing herself across cultures
15:34 – Luxury in its simplest form
20:45 – Small details that shape experiences
22:50 – Anticipating what executives need
25:57 – Giving clients space to feel
29:37 – Asking for what people want
34:50 – Leaders playing big get support
36:55 – How perception holds people back
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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