Carina Ghionzoli, co-host of the Break Fear, Find Freedom podcast and a published author, joins Niiamah Ashong on the Outlier's Edge Podcast to talk about her mantra, break fear, find freedom. She shares how she moved from self-hatred to self-love, and how she answered a calling to write and publish her book. What emerged is her message that the chains that matter most are the ones in the mind, and that people can break them.
Episode at a glance
- Guest: Carina Ghionzoli, Co-host of the Break Fear, Find Freedom podcast and author
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released December 8, 2022
- Format: conversation, 44 minutes
- Topics: Break fear, find freedom, From self-hatred to self-love, Answering a calling, Publishing as freedom, Belonging without compromise, Making up new rules
What Carina brought to the conversation
Carina Ghionzoli has felt like an outlier throughout her life, and she realized that fear and self-hatred were holding her back, then saw the same thing mirrored in so many other people. That is where her mantra came from: break fear, find freedom. A writer with an overactive imagination, she did the work to clear self-hatred and build self-love, belief and confidence, and only recently came out and said, in her words, 'this is me and this is who I stand for and this is who I am.' She recently published a book that came to her as a clear calling while she was journaling, about breaking the chains of the mind and having the courage to do whatever a person needs to do in their life.
What emerged
The turning point Carina Ghionzoli describes came when, after being afraid at first, she decided that her mind would stay free. Her book is less about her own story than about how many people walk around free yet imprisoned by fear, and how to break those chains. Niiamah Ashong connects this to his own work, sharing that he had been creating loneliness through automations and is now bridging it through service and co-creation, and that the rules of the world, and of business, are ones people choose to accept.
Questions this episode answers
Can you actually break fear?
Carina Ghionzoli says no one can really break fears: they move, they transform and they still hide under the bed sometimes, but it doesn't matter. Her mantra, in her words, is 'if we can break the fear, we can find the freedom, whatever it is.'
Why does self-love matter for a leader?
Carina Ghionzoli calls self-love an internal job, and says that without it the love people give everybody else is always a conditional love, which they don't realize until they start doing the work. She also notes that when people turn around and help someone else, it helps them grow and learn too.
What does it take to publish something deeply personal?
Carina Ghionzoli was so afraid of kickback and of exposing herself that it took her a long time to publish her book, until her podcast co-host kept asking each week how it was coming along. Faced with a publish button and a delete button, she pressed publish, and she says it was freedom on so many levels and gave her permission to show herself.
How do you find belonging when you feel alone in a crowded room?
Carina Ghionzoli once felt alone in a crowded, loud room, partly because most people around her were speaking a language she had only just started learning. She learned that no one has to be alone or compromise themselves to be part of a group, because people find others who resonate with them and connect almost on a soul level.
Are the rules of business fixed?
Niiamah Ashong says the world is an accumulation of things people made up, and there are no real rules, in business or anywhere else, other than the ones people choose to accept, so anyone can create a new rule. Carina Ghionzoli adds that she experiences this daily, seeing miracles and then realizing that's how she created them.
In their words
It's having the courage to say this is who I am.
Carina Ghionzoli
I was so tempted at that moment to just delete it, but I didn't. I pressed publish instead.
Carina Ghionzoli
Key moments
04:11 – The gift of an unscripted conversation
06:50 – Break fear, find freedom
09:27 – Owning the word self-hatred
16:08 – The courage to say who she is
19:47 – The calling to write the book
21:19 – Publish or delete
25:28 – Her mind stays free
28:38 – Alone in a crowded room
34:52 – Service as the bridge to belonging
36:54 – Rules people choose to accept
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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