Niiamah Ashong leads a Tribe group coaching session about defaulting versus being intentional. He coaches two leaders, one on keeping energy and connection alive when so much of life happens on screens, and one on becoming a man who takes instant action. What emerged is a practice of noticing what energizes you and taking the smallest next step toward a big goal right now.
Episode at a glance
- Guest: , Two coaches in a Tribe group coaching session
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released July 15, 2022
- Format: conversation, 57 minutes
- Topics: Defaulting versus being intentional, Speaking yourself into the room, Energy and connection online, Fatigue and the antidote, Instant action on what you care about, The smallest next step
What the guest brought to the conversation
Two leaders joined the session. One is a coach who works with unconventional humans and helps them remember how brilliant they are, and she runs a program for a cohort of professional women that tackles imposter syndrome and fear so women's voices are heard in the room, drawing on years of being the only one in the room in corporate law and the tech industry. The other is a life coach on a mission to change the way people communicate, who supports leaders as they create the impossible and creates impact with impact makers who are impacting their world.
What emerged
Niiamah Ashong named the distinction running through the session: when you default, you carry old patterns into every new space, and when you're intentional, you craft the space to be different. For the coach, he named fatigue itself as the real issue and invited her to make her spaces an antidote that energizes people instead of more of the same. For the life coach, it meant turning a lofty goal into ten minutes of action on something he cares about, and the coach took the same lesson, heading straight to a workout because it energizes her.
Questions this episode answers
What is the difference between defaulting and being intentional?
Niiamah Ashong describes defaulting as entering a space the usual way, with a bio, a title and past accomplishments, or letting life run on whatever it had before. Being intentional means choosing how you show up, such as speaking yourself into the room with who you are and what you stand for.
How can online communities feel less flat?
One coach in the session, whose practice runs entirely online, felt the distance of meeting on screens. Niiamah Ashong suggested giving her community more dimensions than the video call itself, such as members recording themselves dancing to a favorite song, writing poetry or having a conversation outside, and said he steers clear of the online experiences that drain him.
Is screen fatigue the real problem?
Niiamah Ashong heard that what the coach called screen fatigue sounded like fatigue altogether, with her clients' work and home lives blurring together. He invited her to make her spaces an antidote, crafted differently from the default everywhere else, rather than going down the same path as her clients.
How do you become someone who takes instant action?
A life coach in the session wanted to keep becoming a man who takes instant action. Niiamah Ashong asked what he cares about right now that he isn't bringing care to, then invited him to spend ten minutes on it right after the call, building evidence that he is someone who acts on what he cares about.
Why isn't productivity the real issue for high achievers?
Niiamah Ashong says that for high achievers, productivity and action will always be there; the question is whether they have the energy to go do it. He pairs that with finding the smallest next step toward a big, lofty goal so it can be practiced right now.
In their words
It is in the innocuous moments that our future is actually created and the world is actually shaped.
Niiamah Ashong
Peace and quiet are two different things.
Niiamah Ashong
For high achievers productivity and action will always be there.
Niiamah Ashong
Key moments
01:35 – Defaulting versus being intentional
03:37 – Speaking yourself into the room
12:48 – Helping women's voices be heard
14:53 – Feeling distance on screens
30:49 – Adding dimensions beyond the screen
36:27 – It's fatigue, not the platform
43:32 – Peace and quiet are different
44:35 – Becoming a man of instant action
47:38 – Caring for what you care about
55:23 – Energy over productivity
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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