Niiamah Ashong, on the Outlier's Edge Podcast, opens with a line he wrote to a teammate shortly before recording: if people saw the real him and the real parts of his business, they would run away and abandon him. He uses it to ask how the fear of being seen shows up inside a business and out in the world. What emerged is his recommitment to being seen in the middle of things, after realizing he had switched from being the sherpa alongside people to the guru at the summit.
Episode at a glance
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released December 4, 2021
- Format: session, 19 minutes
- Topics: The fear of being seen, Getting in the way of a team, Sherpa versus guru, Being seen in the middle of things, Living life out loud, Openness about the business
What this session is about
Niiamah Ashong asks how the fears running in the back of a leader's head might be playing out in other ways. He noticed it in a moment with his team: right as they were getting ready to go live, he came up with 12 new tasks, each a project in itself, and caught himself looking for a teammate to take them on, when the work was that teammate's domain. In a message to a teammate he trusts, he named the fear underneath, and asked how, if he was afraid of being seen inside his own business, that fear might be showing up out in the world. His answer is to stop waiting until things are done before letting people see him.
What emerged
An outside reminder sharpened it. Niiamah Ashong learned that in a set of conversations held from June to September 2020, someone named him as an inspiration because he was willing to be seen in the midst of figuring things out, and he says he felt truly seen. He recognized he had switched from being what he calls the sherpa, the person alongside people as they go, to the guru at the top of the summit who knows the responses. He recommits to living his life out loud, letting people know what he's thinking, the challenges he's facing and how he's creating the business, including a plan to share an income, impact and influence report.
Questions this episode answers
How can a leader's fear of being seen show up inside their own business?
Niiamah Ashong caught it with a teammate he trusts and brought on himself: he noticed he didn't want her to see him, even in a space he considered his own. That gave him a clue to ask how the same fear might be showing up out in the world.
How can a leader get in the way of their own team?
Right before going live, Niiamah Ashong came up with 12 new tasks, each a project in itself, and caught himself explaining why everything needed to get done and looking for a teammate to carry it. He realized the work was that teammate's domain, and that the very thing he was asking for was leading him to what he didn't want.
What is the difference between a sherpa and a guru for a leader?
Niiamah Ashong describes the sherpa as the person who is with people as they go, and the guru as the one at the top of the summit who knows the responses. He realized he had switched from sherpa to guru, and that there is a true benefit in just showing up.
Why would a leader share their thinking before it's finished?
Niiamah Ashong says he had been waiting until things were done so he could come back with results, and every step further he felt he had to add even more to justify the time it had taken. He chose to speak while the experience was raw and real, rather than come back months later with a version that's nicely tied up.
How should someone approach a conversation with people who see the world differently?
In the conversations with strangers he hosts on contentious issues, Niiamah Ashong asks people not to try to change anyone, since it's not about convincing or persuading. He invites them to come in willing and ready and seeking to be changed themselves, and to get out of their silos and echo chambers.
In their words
If people saw the real me and the real parts of my business, they would run away and abandon me.
Niiamah Ashong
You will likely catch me most times in the middle of something. You'll likely catch me as my thoughts are evolving.
Niiamah Ashong
What is it like to create a business where you are actually willing to be seen as yourself throughout it?
Niiamah Ashong
Key moments
00:13 – The line he wrote before recording
01:47 – Getting in the way of his team
02:17 – Twelve new projects before launch
04:17 – The fear of being alone
06:50 – Inside the business and beyond it
09:58 – Named as an inspiration
10:28 – From sherpa to guru
11:31 – Living life out loud
13:02 – Serving viewers by being real
16:36 – Seeking to be changed yourself
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
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