Parissa Behnia, a coach and advisor who stands for speaking truth to power with power, joins Niiamah Ashong on the Outlier's Edge Podcast to talk about influence, truth telling and the change agents who never get seen. She shares why admitting what she doesn't know builds trust, and why every outcome is perfect because it shows her what to do next. What emerged is her calling to help the leaders she calls modern badasses be understood without compromising who they are.
Episode at a glance
- Guest: Parissa Behnia, Coach and advisor who stands for speaking truth to power with power
- Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
- Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released October 4, 2022
- Format: conversation, 31 minutes
- Topics: Speaking truth to power with power, Recognizing a sphere of influence, Asking for help as a leader, Every outcome is perfect, Content and context, Seeing the change agents in training
What Parissa brought to the conversation
Parissa Behnia stands for speaking truth to power with power, which she calls a divine calling. She coaches and advises the people she calls modern badasses: leaders who go 80 miles an hour in a 45 mile an hour zone, with strong intuition, a wicked sense of humor and wild creativity. She knows that world from her own corporate life, and she has spent the last year writing a book positioned as a love story from her to them. Niiamah Ashong shares that he goes by his given name because of her: years ago, in a circle, she asked why he was using a name that literally means no one when he was born with a beautiful name.
What emerged
The central insight is that power and not knowing can live together. Parissa Behnia says the counterintuitive truth is that the more a person admits not knowing something, the more people are willing and able to trust them, and she stays in her power by not attaching to an outcome, because every outcome gives her information about what to do next. She thinks about the opportunity cost of the truth tellers and change agents in training who get sidelined, and Niiamah Ashong acknowledges her as a world shaper who chose to stay in the game.
Questions this episode answers
What does it mean to speak truth to power with power?
For Parissa Behnia, speaking truth to power with power is influence. She calls it a gift to recognize a sphere of influence and to stand in power and say something that may be difficult for someone to hear, yet is what they need to hear in the moment, and she calls the work a divine calling.
How can a leader ask for help without losing credibility?
Parissa Behnia says the counterintuitive truth is that the more a leader asks, or admits not knowing something, the more people are willing and able to trust them. What helps her is not being attached to an outcome: every outcome is perfect because it tells her what to do next.
Why ask a question when you already know the answer?
Parissa Behnia says asking a question she knows the answer to always brings out more content and context that may not have been available to her, and it can confirm that what she thinks is the answer actually is. She adds that it is especially useful in negotiations.
What is the difference between content and context in a conversation?
Parissa Behnia describes context as the situation: where a person is and who they are with. Content is the exchange of energy, thoughts, ideas and words within it, and she frames the two as the what and the how.
Why do some high-potential leaders never get seen?
Parissa Behnia says many change agents, disruptors and outliers in training take themselves out of the game, or someone else takes them out of the game. From her own corporate experience, she helps them share their content and context so they become relatable, without changing who they are.
In their words
I'm not taking credit for the shift, I'm taking credit for the seed.
Parissa Behnia
The more you ask or the more you admit you don't know something, the more people are willing and able to trust you.
Parissa Behnia
Every outcome is perfect because it gives me information as to what to do next.
Parissa Behnia
Key moments
02:04 – The story behind Niiamah's name
04:38 – Speaking truth to power with power
09:21 – Honoring the gifts she's been given
14:00 – Helping people become relatable
17:08 – Admitting not knowing builds trust
19:46 – Every outcome is perfect
22:55 – Asking questions with known answers
25:33 – The traits of modern badasses
26:35 – A book written as a love story
28:39 – Acknowledged as a world shaper
About Niiamah Ashong
Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.
Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference
Continue into Outlier’s Edge World:
Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | Youtube | Website | Guild Community
Reader Interactions