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POSSIBILITIES: Being called to something more || Outlier’s Edge Podcast with Gina Ryan

March 10, 2022 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Gina Ryan, producer and host of The Anxiety Coaches Podcast and a nutritionist and coach, joins Niiamah Ashong on the Outlier's Edge Podcast to explore peace, consistency and possibility. She shares what she stands for, how she took over a podcast and kept it going by being consistent, and why lived experience is her edge. What emerged is a calling to something more: helping people see their lives from a higher perspective, from a less clinical and more spiritual and philosophical place.

Episode at a glance

Guest: Gina Ryan, Producer and host of The Anxiety Coaches Podcast, nutritionist and coach
Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released March 10, 2022
Format: conversation, 48 minutes
Topics: Peace begins with each person, Consistency as an edge, Lived experience as an advantage, Called to something more, Solving problems versus generating possibility

What Gina brought to the conversation

Gina Ryan stands for peace, internal and external integrity, and being the best she can be so she gives permission to the people around her to do the same. After years as a nutritionist working with eating disorder clients on Maui, she offered her expertise to a podcast about anxiety, was soon co-hosting, and said yes when the host asked her to take the show over, knowing nothing about podcasting. Six years later she had kept the same release days and time, released close to 800 episodes and reached 14 million downloads. Her edge is lived experience: she brings people what she has lived herself, and Niiamah Ashong names the peace she carries into a room and her gift for consistency as edges too.

What emerged

Asked what would make this a life-changing conversation, Gina Ryan names a feeling of being called to something more, still helping people but helping them see their lives from a higher perspective and reaching a wider audience. She names a wish to talk less about the problem and more about people having peace and calm in their lives, and Niiamah Ashong offers a distinction between solving problems and generating possibility, a term she writes down. Niiamah Ashong pictures something more as a natural extension of her existing podcast, and she leaves with ground underneath an idea that had felt elusive, and with permission to dream big without having to hold the space.

Questions this episode answers

How does Gina Ryan help people find peace?

Gina Ryan hosts The Anxiety Coaches Podcast and works with people one-on-one and in groups, drawing on lived experience rather than a background as a psychologist or therapist. She believes peace is available to everyone, regardless of money, politics or race, and that it begins with each person individually.

How do you keep a podcast going for hundreds of episodes?

When Gina Ryan took over her show, she told herself to be consistent, and the release days and time have never changed. Episodes run between 17 and 21 minutes, and her topics come from listener emails, her groups, her one-on-one clients and her own experience, which she calls an endless well.

How do you keep adding value when you cover the same topic many times?

Gina Ryan comes at a subject from a different angle or a higher perspective each time, because who she is today is not the person she was six years ago. Niiamah Ashong adds that the listener is not the same person either, so the same message reaches them differently on a different day.

What is the difference between solving problems and generating possibility?

Niiamah Ashong suggests that defining everything through the lens of a problem keeps people coming back to the problem, while generating possibility leaves space for what happens after it. Gina Ryan connects it to what comes after anxiety: a world of endless possibility that is peaceful, calm and exciting.

How did Gina Ryan become host of The Anxiety Coaches Podcast?

In 2015 Gina Ryan was a nutritionist working with eating disorder clients and listening to a podcast about anxiety. She emailed the host to offer her expertise in nutrition for anxiety, ended up co-hosting after a two-hour conversation, and took the show over when he decided to leave, eventually putting all her focus into the podcast.

In their words

It doesn't matter how much money you have, it's not political or racial or anything, it is available to everyone.
Gina Ryan

There's a difference between solving problems and generating possibility.
Niiamah Ashong

It is this world of endless possibility that is peaceful, it is calm and it is exciting.
Gina Ryan

Key moments

04:38 – What Gina Ryan stands for

11:51 – The Anxiety Coaches Podcast

13:53 – From nutritionist to podcast host

17:59 – Consistency as her edge

20:31 – A new angle on familiar topics

25:40 – Lived experience as an advantage

31:19 – Called to something more

35:53 – Solving problems versus generating possibility

42:01 – Something more as a podcast

44:35 – Ground under an elusive idea

About Niiamah Ashong

Niiamah Ashong is a coach to outlier leaders, host of the Outlier’s Edge Podcast, and founder of the Trailblazer Collective. He coaches leaders who are creating something only they can make: a company, a body of work or a movement. Make a difference with your difference.

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“Niiamah’s Perfect System to Analyzing Any Environment / Culture to Blend in like a Chameleon”.

December 18, 2021 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Niiamah Ashong, on the Outlier's Edge Podcast, teaches a live masterclass on how he analyzes any environment or culture to blend in like a chameleon. Sparked by watching a drummer hear a song for the first time and then play it, he names his own process: active listening, anchor points, shadowing, listening for nuance, stamina and performing. What emerged is the core of his coaching: seeing where people are camouflaged, and helping them live successfully without it.

Episode at a glance

Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released December 18, 2021
Format: session, 44 minutes
Topics: Reading a room like a song, Anchor points and nuance, Shadowing to test and calibrate, Mental culture, Influence through heart and soul, Living without camouflage

What this session is about

Niiamah Ashong's idea is that the way he reads a room can be named as a system. He starts by sizing up the overall flow of a place, whether it's flat or hierarchical, laid-back or buttoned up, then finds the anchor points and major themes, the way the drummer found the time signature and the chorus. Next comes shadowing what he's seeing in his own language to test and calibrate, keeping expectations open enough to catch the nuance, and the stamina to keep going before performing, where templates are applied with small adjustments rather than learning everything from scratch. He connects it to his time taking actuarial exams, where he found he was very good at processes and slotted things into spaces that had already been designed.

What emerged

The turn came when Niiamah Ashong named what the chameleon skill is for. A chameleon changes colors as a protective mechanism, and for a long time that meant he wasn't saying the things no one else would say; now he uses the same listening to help clients get to new levels, seeing when people are hiding in plain sight. Understanding how he does it gives him agency: he can then choose whether to do it. He describes the core of his work as helping people live successfully in the world without having to put on the camouflage.

Questions this episode answers

How can a leader quickly read the culture of a new room?

Niiamah Ashong recommends sizing up a room as soon as one walks in, not for details but for the big overarching flow: whether it's flat or hierarchical, whether people defer to others, whether it's laid-back or buttoned up. Then he looks for the anchor points and major themes, the way a drummer listens for the time signature and the chorus.

Why does nuance matter when adapting to a new environment?

Niiamah Ashong says the interplay of anchor points and nuance is what lets a chameleon succeed: once the anchor points are in place, the mind can relax and simply look for what's different. Expectations stay in place but open enough to notice what doesn't fit.

How does a coach use this kind of analysis with clients?

Niiamah Ashong listens for the overall world a client lives in, then the themes that keep coming up, then the nuance where things shift. He calls the world a person creates for themselves their mental culture, the rules they think they need to play by, and he looks for the exceptions, such as the things they cherish that didn't take much at all even though their story says everything worth having comes from hard work.

How can a leader help a team member who isn't producing the result the leader wants?

Niiamah Ashong asks whether the leader has taken the time to understand the system that person lives in and what it took for them to get there. Rather than changing the entire genre on them, he suggests letting them live in the anchor points of their own life and helping them see the small nuances they need to bring to be successful on the team.

Why does Niiamah Ashong avoid debates when he wants to influence someone?

Niiamah Ashong says people always rationalize in the mind, so changing minds isn't where he wants to go; he wants to get to what is important to someone in their heart and soul. In his view, the ability to see a person as a system, with all its nuances, is what makes it possible to sit across the table and know what matters to them.

In their words

I'm not an influencer, I'm an influential leader, and I walk into areas and things change.
Niiamah Ashong

How can I help you live successfully in the world as a chameleon without having to put on the camouflage?
Niiamah Ashong

If you understand how you do it, you can then choose if you do it.
Niiamah Ashong

Key moments

00:33 – Watching a drummer learn by ear

04:40 – Reading a room like music

06:44 – An influential leader, not an influencer

09:14 – Step one: active listening

11:49 – Anchor points and the actuarial exams

16:56 – Shadowing in one's own language

18:28 – Listening for the nuance

24:35 – Stamina, then performing

29:40 – Using the chameleon skill to coach

36:45 – Heart and soul over debate

About Niiamah Ashong

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Stop Meeting People Where They Are.

December 13, 2021 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Niiamah Ashong, on the Outlier's Edge Podcast, makes the case against the common advice to meet people where they are. Drawing on a conversation with a colleague and his own experience in a program, he argues for holding his own level and inviting people to come and meet him there. What emerged is the distinction between calling people out and calling them in, and the reminder that there are people who want to play at that level too.

Episode at a glance

Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released December 13, 2021
Format: session, 21 minutes
Topics: Meeting people where they are, Calling people in, not out, Accountability to who people are, Lead and lag indicators, Playing a bigger game, Celebrating differences

What this session is about

Niiamah Ashong challenges the advice to meet people where they are. His alternative is to see people for who they are, hold them accountable to that, and invite them to come and meet him at his level. He doesn't hold clients accountable to tasks; he holds them accountable to who they are, and he calls people in, into their leadership and back into themselves, rather than calling them out. He has found that whenever he tries to meet people where they are, his business and the number of people coming to talk to him slow down, which he describes as the lag indicator.

What emerged

The idea took shape through two stories. In a program, Niiamah Ashong called in someone he had seen play at a high level, wondered afterward whether he had brought too much, and saw that person do something the very next day that they had been on the fence about. He had been on the other side of it too: people in a small group called him in, telling him he showed up with power but was playing in a small place, and that conversation led him back to his movement and to opportunities that now come to him. His conclusion is that when people are seen for who they are and held accountable to that, they will gladly reach up and step into their own power.

Questions this episode answers

Should a coach or leader meet people where they are?

Niiamah Ashong argues against it, especially when working with high flyers. He has found that whenever he tries to meet people where they are, his business and the people coming to talk to him slow down, while seeing people for who they are and holding them accountable to that leads them to reach up and meet him.

What is the difference between calling someone out and calling them in?

Niiamah Ashong says calling people out no longer interests him; he calls people in, into their leadership, into who they are and back into themselves, without having them retreat. He learned the distinction when people in a small group called him in, telling him they saw him and wanted to play with him.

What does it mean to hold someone accountable to who they are?

Niiamah Ashong never holds clients accountable to the tasks they put out there, and says he doesn't even hold himself accountable to his own. He holds them accountable to who they are: having heard their story and seen what they've done, he can tell when they're trying to sell him a version of themselves that's less than who they truly are.

What changes when a leader stops playing small?

When Niiamah Ashong stepped back into his movement after just over a year of not talking about it publicly, the opportunities changed: people began reaching out to collaborate, ask about resources and refer clients who could use his experience in areas like diversity and inclusion. He describes it as lead and lag, since when he played smaller, everything slowed down.

Why look for open-minded people rather than like-minded people?

Niiamah Ashong says finding what people have in common bores him, and he isn't looking to hang out with like-minded people. He spends his time with open-minded people who hold themselves accountable to who they know they can be, and he is after celebrating and valuing differences, something much higher than tolerating or accepting them.

In their words

I do like to call people in, into their leadership, into who they are, back into themselves.
Niiamah Ashong

They didn't meet me where I was. They saw me and they held me accountable to who I was.
Niiamah Ashong

You don't need to meet anyone where they are. Invite people to come and meet you where you are, because you play a big game.
Niiamah Ashong

Key moments

00:01 – Done meeting people where they are

02:34 – The lag indicator of playing small

04:37 – Accountable to who people are

05:38 – Calling people in, not out

08:11 – Wondering if it was too much

09:12 – Stepping up the very next day

11:43 – Being called in himself

13:16 – Reconnecting with his movement

15:47 – Inviting people to meet him

16:49 – Celebrating and valuing differences

About Niiamah Ashong

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“If people saw the real me and the real parts of my business, they would run away and abandon me”

December 4, 2021 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Niiamah Ashong, on the Outlier's Edge Podcast, opens with a line he wrote to a teammate shortly before recording: if people saw the real him and the real parts of his business, they would run away and abandon him. He uses it to ask how the fear of being seen shows up inside a business and out in the world. What emerged is his recommitment to being seen in the middle of things, after realizing he had switched from being the sherpa alongside people to the guru at the summit.

Episode at a glance

Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released December 4, 2021
Format: session, 19 minutes
Topics: The fear of being seen, Getting in the way of a team, Sherpa versus guru, Being seen in the middle of things, Living life out loud, Openness about the business

What this session is about

Niiamah Ashong asks how the fears running in the back of a leader's head might be playing out in other ways. He noticed it in a moment with his team: right as they were getting ready to go live, he came up with 12 new tasks, each a project in itself, and caught himself looking for a teammate to take them on, when the work was that teammate's domain. In a message to a teammate he trusts, he named the fear underneath, and asked how, if he was afraid of being seen inside his own business, that fear might be showing up out in the world. His answer is to stop waiting until things are done before letting people see him.

What emerged

An outside reminder sharpened it. Niiamah Ashong learned that in a set of conversations held from June to September 2020, someone named him as an inspiration because he was willing to be seen in the midst of figuring things out, and he says he felt truly seen. He recognized he had switched from being what he calls the sherpa, the person alongside people as they go, to the guru at the top of the summit who knows the responses. He recommits to living his life out loud, letting people know what he's thinking, the challenges he's facing and how he's creating the business, including a plan to share an income, impact and influence report.

Questions this episode answers

How can a leader's fear of being seen show up inside their own business?

Niiamah Ashong caught it with a teammate he trusts and brought on himself: he noticed he didn't want her to see him, even in a space he considered his own. That gave him a clue to ask how the same fear might be showing up out in the world.

How can a leader get in the way of their own team?

Right before going live, Niiamah Ashong came up with 12 new tasks, each a project in itself, and caught himself explaining why everything needed to get done and looking for a teammate to carry it. He realized the work was that teammate's domain, and that the very thing he was asking for was leading him to what he didn't want.

What is the difference between a sherpa and a guru for a leader?

Niiamah Ashong describes the sherpa as the person who is with people as they go, and the guru as the one at the top of the summit who knows the responses. He realized he had switched from sherpa to guru, and that there is a true benefit in just showing up.

Why would a leader share their thinking before it's finished?

Niiamah Ashong says he had been waiting until things were done so he could come back with results, and every step further he felt he had to add even more to justify the time it had taken. He chose to speak while the experience was raw and real, rather than come back months later with a version that's nicely tied up.

How should someone approach a conversation with people who see the world differently?

In the conversations with strangers he hosts on contentious issues, Niiamah Ashong asks people not to try to change anyone, since it's not about convincing or persuading. He invites them to come in willing and ready and seeking to be changed themselves, and to get out of their silos and echo chambers.

In their words

If people saw the real me and the real parts of my business, they would run away and abandon me.
Niiamah Ashong

You will likely catch me most times in the middle of something. You'll likely catch me as my thoughts are evolving.
Niiamah Ashong

What is it like to create a business where you are actually willing to be seen as yourself throughout it?
Niiamah Ashong

Key moments

00:13 – The line he wrote before recording

01:47 – Getting in the way of his team

02:17 – Twelve new projects before launch

04:17 – The fear of being alone

06:50 – Inside the business and beyond it

09:58 – Named as an inspiration

10:28 – From sherpa to guru

11:31 – Living life out loud

13:02 – Serving viewers by being real

16:36 – Seeking to be changed yourself

About Niiamah Ashong

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Creating From Aligned Values – Tribe 1:1 Coaching

November 10, 2021 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Niiamah Ashong coaches a coach and consultant in a Tribe 1:1 session on the Outlier's Edge Podcast about how to create a really successful business and completely honor her highest values. He opens with his distinction between outliers, who own what makes them different, and trailblazers, who leverage that difference to make a difference for others. What emerged is a set of small, early indicators that tell her when to slow down and return to her foundation, alongside her practice of putting her highest values on the calendar first.

Episode at a glance

Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released November 10, 2021
Format: session, 49 minutes
Topics: Outliers and trailblazers, The ability to recreate yourself, Everything can be figured out, A business that honors her highest values, Early indicators of heading off path, Front-loading the calendar

What this session is about

She is a coach and consultant who works mostly with women entrepreneurs, women in business and women executives, and coaching and consulting is her fourth career. Before coaching she started and ran a nonprofit focused on clean water as a foundation for development, which has drilled more than 100 wells and reached well over 100,000 people; earlier she was a talent scout and then a creative executive in network television, and before that an elementary school teacher. Her business runs across one-to-one coaching, groups where she teaches emotional processing, and hands-on consulting inside clients' businesses, and one of her clients wants to create an app with her around the emotional processing work. Niiamah Ashong introduces her as someone who has been instrumental to him, and names her mastery as the ability to recreate herself; she names what sits underneath it, tenacity and a willingness to figure anything out.

What emerged

The question she brought was how to create a really successful business while completely honoring her highest values, without the all-out pace that drove her earlier careers. Because she described this as uncharted territory, Niiamah Ashong questioned whether a direct route could even be plotted and focused instead on early indicators: her daily yoga practice, her own emotional processing work and making her bed in the morning, signals that can show her within a day or two when she's heading off path. She described front-loading her self-care habits and time with her son onto the calendar before anything else, Niiamah Ashong also raised getting more support so that not everything sits on her, and left her with a question: what are the indicators that the family side of her values is off.

Questions this episode answers

How can a leader create a successful business while honoring their highest values?

The guest front-loads: her self-care habits and the time she has with her son go on the calendar first, before work and before everything else. She also said that living in her highest values means being willing to not do certain things, including work she could have said no to.

How do you notice early that you're heading off path?

Niiamah Ashong asked for small, almost innocuous signals and shared his own, dishes piling up in the kitchen. The guest named hers: missing her daily yoga practice, skipping her own emotional processing work, or not making her bed in the morning. Niiamah Ashong pointed out that a small signal like the bed can show up within a day or two, rather than the 30 to 45 days it took her to notice her habits slipping.

What is the difference between an outlier and a trailblazer?

Niiamah Ashong describes an outlier as anyone who takes the time to own the things that make them different and creates incredible success despite the odds. A trailblazer is an outlier who decides not just to own that difference, but to leverage it to make a difference for others, lead others and create change in the world.

What makes it possible to reinvent yourself across very different careers?

The guest credits tenacity and a willingness to figure things out, saying she has learned every job on the job. Niiamah Ashong named it as a mastery of its own: the ability to recreate yourself.

What role does support play in honoring a leader's highest values?

Niiamah Ashong asked whether she has to be the one taking care of everything, and wondered what it would be like to have someone handle the things that matter to her but aren't her highest priorities. She acknowledged that getting more support, personally and in business, is an area where she could grow.

In their words

The mastery is in the ability to recreate yourself.
Niiamah Ashong

How do you build a really successful business and completely honor your highest values?
A participant

In order to live in my highest values I have to be willing to not do certain things.
A participant

Key moments

00:02 – Outliers versus trailblazers

04:13 – A fourth career in coaching

08:21 – The mastery of recreating yourself

13:34 – Everything can be figured out

19:48 – Success that honors her highest values

26:04 – Her business verticals and an app

37:23 – Indicators of heading off path

40:00 – Making the bed as a signal

43:05 – Front-loading the calendar

45:07 – Getting more support

About Niiamah Ashong

Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference

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What Are You Willing to Fight for? – Tribe 1:1 Coaching

October 29, 2021 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Niiamah Ashong coaches a master certified coach who trains coaches in a Tribe 1:1 coaching session on the Outlier's Edge Podcast. The guest is creating a course on the neuroscience of coaching and asks whether serving coaches is truly the impact the guest wants to make. What emerged is a clear calling: some coaches are called to work with starters, and this guest is called to work with finishers, the coaches who want to finish what they started.

Episode at a glance

Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released October 29, 2021
Format: session, 54 minutes
Topics: Produce versus reduce, Building the muscle for rejection, Training coaches for exponential impact, Reframing low-hanging fruit, Starters and finishers

What this session is about

The guest is a master certified coach, the highest level of coaching credential, held by only about 1,200 coaches in the world, and works with high achievers, high performers and high potential leaders, including leaders of big companies. The guest has trained hundreds of coaches, literally wrote a book about coaching, and created a leadership program for the guest's community that is now in its second year. Client outcomes the guest is proud of include helping a financial planner land a $100 million portfolio, helping an attorney at a prestigious law firm create her own department, and helping an entrepreneur launch a luxury watch line within a year of working together. About 10 years ago, while tutoring, working part time in a restaurant and acting, the guest decided to change the world, took to heart a musician's words that there is no plan B, and began coaching teenagers to find their purpose. Now the guest is creating a course on the neuroscience of coaching with two neuroscientists, to serve trained coaches and elevate the professional coaching industry, with a fire to help coaches not give up.

What emerged

The guest wondered whether serving coaches was low-hanging fruit, and Niiamah Ashong reframed it as the fruit that is going to ripen into the next generation of leaders, while the guest saw the exponential impact of serving coaches who each serve clients. When Niiamah Ashong asked whether the guest is a get-in-the-game or a stay-in-the-game kind of person for others, the guest named a new distinction: some coaches are called to work with the starters, and the guest is called to work with the finishers. In the guest's own marathon image, that means meeting coaches at mile 17, when they've put in the work and are about to quit, and getting them to the finish line.

Questions this episode answers

What does it take to keep going when people doubt the work?

The guest says that something no book can teach is finding the strength inside to persist no matter what, and that first and foremost a person has to believe in themselves. The guest credits years as a professional actor, facing rejection after rejection, with building that muscle.

Is serving the people a leader already knows just low-hanging fruit?

Niiamah Ashong reframes it: at this inflection point in human history, there is a chance to help cultivate the next set of world leaders, so it is the fruit that is going to ripen into the leaders who shift things. He compares holding back to carrying water in a desert full of thirsty people and deciding it would be too easy to give it to them.

Why would a coach focus on training other coaches?

The guest sees it as exponential impact, because coaches have clients, and believes that if every coach empowered clients to be their best self, the world would be a much better place. Niiamah Ashong asks whether about 1,200 master coaches is enough to shift the consciousness of the world, and the guest concludes that leadership means creating more leaders, which here means creating more master coaches.

What is the difference between helping people get in the game and helping them stay in it?

Niiamah Ashong describes himself as a get-in-the-game kind of guy and asks which kind the guest is for others. The guest answers stay in the game: some coaches are called to work with the starters, and the guest is called to work with the finishers, the people who want to finish what they started.

What does produce versus reduce mean for a leader?

Niiamah Ashong explains that reduce comes from a root word meaning to lead, with a prefix meaning back or again, and that he spent two years leading by taking things away. Produce adds a prefix meaning forward, so now he is leading forward, with the range to move between full-on production and the bare essentials.

In their words

First and foremost, you've got to really believe in yourself.
A participant

This is the fruit that is going to ripen into the actual leaders.
Niiamah Ashong

I think some coaches are called to work with the starters. I think I'm called to work with the finishers.
A participant

Key moments

01:04 – Produce versus reduce

07:11 – The highest coaching credential

18:33 – There is no plan B

22:37 – Acting built a rejection muscle

27:18 – A course on the neuroscience of coaching

35:02 – Is serving coaches low-hanging fruit?

37:37 – Fruit that ripens into leaders

44:53 – Water in the desert

49:36 – Get in or stay in the game

51:40 – Meeting coaches at mile 17

About Niiamah Ashong

Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference

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2021-01-18 Outlier to Trailblazer Coaching Podcast

October 20, 2021 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Niiamah Ashong coaches a podcast host and self-described knowledge broker in an Outlier to Trailblazer coaching session on the Outlier's Edge Podcast. The guest wants to know their purpose not only intellectually but with every cell of the body. What emerged is that the guest's own question needed to be rephrased with emotion, and Niiamah Ashong offered tools to bring purpose into the body: literal feel questions, a personal manifesto and a daily priming practice.

Episode at a glance

Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released October 20, 2021
Format: session, 43 minutes
Topics: Purpose beyond the intellect, From reserved to public speaker, Asking emotional questions, Answering feel questions literally, Writing a personal manifesto, Saying a purpose out loud

What this session is about

The guest hosts a podcast on personal development mastery and describes the guest's purpose as facilitating humanity's shift, helping people change, adapt and grow, in the capacity of a knowledge broker and podcaster. That path began in 2016: after finishing a master's degree, the guest realized the field didn't hold the guest's passion, and a conversation about passive income led to one event after another, revealing how highly the guest values learning. At a personal development event, the guest recognized the limiting belief behind being a reserved person who wouldn't speak to anyone, and over the next few months came to see it as past conditioning rather than personality. Less than a year later, the guest delivered a first public speech on the stage of the same networking event where the guest once wouldn't speak to anyone, and today the guest hosts a podcast and holds live conversations with people the guest doesn't know, something the guest once found unimaginable.

What emerged

The guest arrived wanting to know the guest's purpose with every cell of the body, on every level and not only an intellectual one. Niiamah Ashong noticed that the guest navigates life by holding a question open and letting the path reveal itself, and invited questions with an emotional component: what scares, excites or saddens the guest about the purpose, and what would be the courageous thing to do if the guest were living it right now. By the end, the guest realized the original question had been approached from an angle that was difficult or impossible to answer, and that it needed to be completely rephrased, invoking emotion.

Questions this episode answers

How can a leader move a sense of purpose from the head into the body?

Niiamah Ashong suggests asking questions with an emotional component, such as what scares or excites someone about their purpose, and what would be the courageous thing to do if they were living it right now. He also asks for feel questions to be answered literally, like a tingling in the feet or a tightness in the chest, because if someone is not feeling their body, they can't tell what their cells are doing.

What is a personal manifesto and how is it used?

Niiamah Ashong describes a manifesto as a declaration of self into the world: somewhere between five and 15 written statements about who someone is and how they navigate the world. He takes 12 minutes to go through his own, spending time with the breath, He also describes a daily priming practice that was instrumental as he stepped into his purpose.

How did Niiamah Ashong learn to state his purpose with conviction?

Niiamah Ashong says it took him over a year. At first he was embarrassed to say it out loud and afraid people wouldn't take him seriously, so he put himself in environments where saying it felt uncomfortable, with his heart beating fast and his palms sweaty, and still said it without any disclaimers.

Can a reserved person become a confident public speaker?

The guest was once a closed, reserved person who wouldn't speak to anyone, and came to see that this was a limiting belief and past conditioning rather than personality. Less than a year after that event, the guest delivered a first public speech on the stage of the same networking event, and today hosts a podcast.

Why would a coach help someone question their own question?

Niiamah Ashong says the real gift of coaching is often when people answer a question he didn't ask, because that is the question weighing on their heart. His goal is to help people get such a different perspective that the problem they think they have becomes minimized or irrelevant altogether, so they can move toward what they truly want.

In their words

When you are driven by your very soul, then you are really at a completely different league of doing actions.
A participant

My soul's purpose in life is to champion the leaders who shape the next era of humanity.
Niiamah Ashong

I think the best questions provoke more questions. I think that the best answers are lived experiences.
Niiamah Ashong

Key moments

00:35 – Only the person in front matters

03:41 – Knowing purpose with every cell

09:26 – A purpose to facilitate humanity's shift

19:51 – A limiting belief, not a personality

25:03 – Wonder rather than fear

29:13 – Asking emotional questions about purpose

33:20 – Answering feel questions literally

36:26 – Writing a personal manifesto

37:58 – Saying his soul's purpose out loud

40:36 – Rephrasing the original question

About Niiamah Ashong

Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference

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Niiamah’s Exact Aha Moment of Pioneer Leading – Tribe 1:1 Coaching

October 13, 2021 by Niiamah Ashong Leave a Comment

Niiamah Ashong is coached by a fellow leader in a Tribe 1:1 session on the Outlier's Edge Podcast, picking up partway through a longer conversation about pioneer leading. Exploring what happens inside a pioneer leader who knows what to do and hasn't started yet, the fellow leader points out that searching for common traits of pioneer leaders works against Niiamah Ashong's own belief that everyone is different. What emerged is his aha moment: when he is trying to be a pioneer leader is the time he is most not one, so he chose to stop trying and simply be.

Episode at a glance

Host: Niiamah Ashong, coach to outlier leaders
Show: Outlier’s Edge Podcast, released October 13, 2021
Format: session, 25 minutes
Topics: Pioneer leading, Consuming versus creating, Leading visibly, Everyone is different, Trying versus being, Serving by being yourself

What this session is about

Niiamah Ashong came into this part of the conversation creating work for the people he calls his pioneers, and wanting to lead more visibly by recording and sharing the conversations he is already having. He described what pioneer leaders tend to do when they know what to do but haven't started: they go looking for more information, reading another book or listening to another podcast, because consuming is easier than creating. The fellow leader, who says Niiamah Ashong had helped with something very difficult to grab onto earlier in their conversation, brought a direct reflection: what makes Niiamah Ashong different is how he reads each moment and owns being different in it. Drawing on an intensive where no one knew what would happen and each person came away with something different, the fellow leader showed that pioneer leaders don't need a common set of traits.

What emerged

The turn came when the fellow leader named a contradiction: Niiamah Ashong's core belief is that the one thing everyone has in common is that everyone is different, yet he was trying to fit pioneer leaders into a box of common traits. Niiamah Ashong saw that it's less about teaching how to be a pioneer leader and more about pioneer leading, so that people see what he's doing and want more of it. He landed on the aha in his own words: when he is trying to be a pioneer leader is the time he is most not one, and it is of service for him to simply be of service, because the way he chooses to serve will be the pioneer leading way.

Questions this episode answers

What do leaders do when they know what to do but haven't started?

Niiamah Ashong says they go looking for more information: they read another book, listen to another podcast and get into consuming mode, because it's a lot easier to consume than to create. He adds that rather than getting the simplest version out there, they turn it into a super complicated thing where all the pieces need to come together.

Can you teach someone to be a pioneer leader?

In this conversation Niiamah Ashong concluded that it's less about teaching how to be a pioneer leader and more about pioneer leading himself, so that people see it and want more of it. The fellow leader pointed out that building a box of common traits works against his belief that everyone is different.

Why can trying to be a certain kind of leader get in the way of leading?

Niiamah Ashong realized that when he is trying to be a pioneer leader is the time he is most not one. The fellow leader added that putting so much pressure on who a leader needs to be can keep them from realizing they are already leading, and that showing up is leading.

How can a leader become more visible without changing what they do?

Niiamah Ashong said that pioneer leading for him would mean doing a lot of the same things he already does, but visibly, setting up each conversation as one he will record and share. The fellow leader encouraged him to keep being in the world and sharing what he is up to and feeling in the moment, so that pioneer leaders connect with him.

What is the difference between trying to lead and being of service?

Niiamah Ashong said it is not of service for him to try to be a pioneer leader; it is of service for him to simply be of service. The way he chooses to serve, he said, will be the pioneer leading way.

In their words

When I am trying to be a pioneer leader is the time that I'm most not a pioneer leader.
Niiamah Ashong

You don't even realize that you're leading.
A participant

The more that I'm trying to figure out how to get it right for people is the more that I'm going wrong.
Niiamah Ashong

Key moments

00:31 – What pioneer leading would look like

01:03 – Leading visibly, out of the shadows

03:05 – Consuming instead of creating

05:37 – Making the simple complicated

09:11 – The dynamic they co-created

12:55 – A contradiction in his philosophy

15:59 – Pioneer leading instead of teaching it

19:03 – The aha moment

20:48 – Trying to get it right

22:49 – Simply being of service

About Niiamah Ashong

Work with Niiamah: 1:1 with Niiamah | World of Difference

Continue into Outlier’s Edge World: